Khan the Evil Camel

A word of warning, first...  If you are drinking or eating something, please finish up before you read any further than this paragraph.  This story is so hilarious that you may result in:  (1) snorting your drink up through your nose, (2) choking on your own food, or (3) inadvertently converting your food into a projectile that could harm others.  At this point, let me legally disclaim that Heather and I are not responsible for any bodily or property damage resulting from reading this post.  You are responsible for your own actions.  Proceed with eating your food or drinking your drink at your own risk!

Seriously.

So, let's get started.  This was another one of our adventures in Australia--this time, set near Ayers Rock in the Australian outback.  In her research up until we went through Customs, my wife had her heart set on taking a camel tour.  The only thing I could think of was that part from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indy told one of his friends, "No camels!"  But I digress...

Around mid-morning, we got to the ranch, which wasn't very far from where we stayed.  Then again, everything wasn't very far away because it was a town managed by the Aboriginal tribal government, council, or whatever.  Additionally, the Aborigines decided to do business with a select few businesses:  Voyages (the only lodging and resort company allowed there), Exxon (the only gas station allowed there), and this camel ranch.  Did someone say "monopoly?"

Okay, I should stop going on tangents like this, but it's a bit of a habit of mine.  So, I do apologize.  Back to the story...

At this point, we were two out of four people for the mid-morning tour.  While we were waiting on the others to arrive, we were told all about the camels.  Apparently, Australia had once imported camels from the Middle East years ago.  Some of them wound up escaping into the wild.  So, Australia now has a wild camel population.

Once the other couple arrived, the four of us went back to meet the camels.  How I remember the camels' names was quite simple.  First of all, there were only three that were available to ride that day.  Secondly, one of the camels' names was Walter, the name of my late grandfather.  The second camel that was introduced was named Sally.  However, the most infamous and stubborn camel of all was...  Khan the Evil Camel!

Remember how I mentioned earlier about Australia's wild camel population?  Well, Khan had recently been captured from the wild!  (Can you see where this story is going?)  So, our camel guide sized the four of us up and decided to have the older couple ride on Walter, who was the oldest and strongest of the group.  I was given Sally.  My wife, being the lightest of the four of us, had the experience of riding Khan!

From Left to Right:  Sally, Khan the Evil Camel, and Walter

The camel train was loaded from back to front.  So, the other couple got on Walter, who was in the sitting position for loading.  Then our camel guide would give Walter the command to stand up.  No problem.  Walter was very well-behaved.

Ayers Rock

Then, it was Heather's turn to get on Khan.  Heather got on him and then Khan proceeded to stand up on his own before being given the command!  Meanwhile, Heather followed her instincts and grabbed onto the bar at the front of her saddle.  Khan then proceeded to sit down, stand up, sit down, etc.  On my end, I'm thinking, "Dear God, am I going to become a widower at only 33?"  It took a couple of minutes, but our camel guide got Khan in line and staying upright...until it was my turn to get on Sally and he proceeded to sit down!

Fast forward past me getting on Sally because she was well-behaved and boring by comparison to Khan, we went for a guided ride for about 45 minutes in a loop in the desert.  We didn't really see anything different, but the camel riding experience was...interesting...

Even Khan managed to successfully photobomb
this shot of Sally and I!

Khan started to behave himself again until I felt something weird at my left ankle and my jeans.  Apparently, Khan wanted my shoe!  Now, common sense told me not to kick him in the face as to not to antagonize him nor go back into his earlier tantrum with my wife, possibly injuring or killing her.  At this point, I was tired of this and wanted to be as far away from Khan as possible since he obviously still had issues.

At the end of our camel tour, we were allowed the opportunity to hug our camels.  Okay, all of us, except Heather.  She was advised to hug Sally or Walter.  So, I let her hug mine.

"Thank you for not killing us, Sally..."

In the end, riding camels was an experience...in learning to be patient.  I wouldn't want to be a camel rancher for a living, but I will stick to wrangling my nine-month-old that is crawling, now!

Here are some remaining entertaining pictures that I don't really have stories for...  Enjoy!