Thursday, December 27, 2012
Just Banned this Toy from the Car!
Rather than write a lengthy post about this little story of driving along I-40 to Memphis on Christmas Day, I thought I would share why this little toy got taken away... Enjoy!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Christmas Ornaments of the World
Merry Christmas, everyone! Here are some pictures of some of our Christmas ornaments we have brought home from other countries.
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| Belize, 2008 |
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| Australia, 2009 |
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| Italy, 2010 |
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| France, 2011 |
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Words
My wife and I have traveled to many countries where the primary language happened to be English. The English-speaking countries we have traveled to together have been: Canada, Belize, Australia, the U.K., and the Bahamas. In spite of having a common language that is mostly understood, there have been some misunderstandings, some unintentional comic relief, and some moments that just make you wonder how America and the rest of the English-speaking world got separated by a common language. Here are three short stories...
Asking for a bandage almost resulted in calling "999" (or Britain's "911")
While my wife was a little over 4 months pregnant, we happened to be in London. For some reason, she needed a band aid. Unfortunately, we didn't think to pack any of them. I went downstairs to the front desk to see if they had any. On my way down, I thought about how I was going to ask for one as I was of the belief that "band aid" was an Americanized word that might not be understood. So, I thought I would ask for a "bandage" instead. I casually waited in line behind various guests that were checking out. A few minutes later, I was up at the front of the line and asked, "Do you have a small bandage?"
The poor girl behind the desk frantically sprung into action believing somebody was seriously hurt. She pulled out some gauze pads from the first aid kit.
"I'm sorry, but this isn't exactly it. I'm not sure what the British word for it is. My wife has a minor cut and just wants to cover it up. We just need a bandage with an adhesive."
So, she pulled out a roll of first aid tape. "Is this what you are needing?"
"I'm afraid not. It should have self-sticking adhesive at the ends with a pad in the middle."
"Oh, a plaster!"
She pulled one out. I opened the package. "Yes! This is it! I appreciate it so much!"
"No problem at all. Would you mind telling me what that is in American English?"
"Sure. It's a band aid."
"I never heard of that before. I'll make sure to share that with the staff so we can better assist our future American guests."
So, on our way to the subway station, we decided to stop by Britain's version of the Dollar Tree, which was called Poundland! Rather than bug the front desk again for plasters, we decided to get some of our own.
Sadly, though, we discovered one small problem...
Oh, and it gets worse...
I went back to Poundland to try to find a pair of scissors that would be sharp enough to cut the plaster, but to no avail. All they had were those little safety scissors that we all used to have back in the first grade that would only cut thin sheets of paper and that's it.
So, every time my wife needed a new plaster, it was always preceded by getting in line at the front desk (or queueing) just to ask to borrow a pair of scissors. We didn't mind waiting in line, but felt like we were being a pain to the hotel staff.
Toilet "Humor"
During our stays across Australia, we discovered two things that we hated about hotels there: (1) no complimentary breakfast and (2) no complimentary internet. However, during my wife's hours upon hours of research ahead of time, she discovered a way around #2: McDonald's!
So, every morning in the cities of Melbourne, Cairns (pronounced "Cans"), and Sydney, we would take my wife's netbook and go to the nearest McDonald's for breakfast and uploading photos to Facebook. Toward the end of our day, we would return to McDonald's for dessert and uploading yet more photos to Facebook!
One morning in Cairns, we were eating breakfast at McDonald's (of all places). Cairns is one of Australia's smaller cities (153,000 people, 14th largest city). So, it had more of a relaxed feel than the hustle and bustle of Melbourne and Sydney, the top two cities in Australia that had over 4.1 million in population in the cities proper.
While I was eating my breakfast, minding my own business, I could not believe what I had heard from the staff there!
Manager (Shouting over the equipment just to be heard): "Does anybody know where Claire went?"
One of Claire's Coworkers (Shouting back): "She's in the toilet!"
At this point, I just about died laughing. A split second later, I realized my wife and I comprised maybe 25% of the restaurant's customers at the time. So, I quickly stifled myself and turned my laughter to "covering and coughing." International incident averted!
By this point, I had already been in the country for about a week. So, I knew that Claire's coworker was really saying that she went to the restroom!
Know What You Order
Between Australia and the U.K., we found ourselves having some dishes that had unusual names. If you didn't have much familiarity with the Australian and British versions of the English language, you might as very well be lost when it comes to ordering some food outside the traditional fish and chips.
In Australia, we stopped at the Koala Cafe, a little place we drove to just off the Great Ocean Road somewhere between Melbourne and the Twelve Apostles. There, we ordered prawn burgers. Now, most Americans may not be familiar with what a prawn is, but should be familiar with what it looks like. It's shrimp! We thought that was unusual and figured, "Why not?"
In London, we stopped at a restaurant along the River Thames. Sadly, I cannot remember the name of the place, but I do remember them serving decent traditional fish and chips, which was something I had wanted since arriving in town. My wife, meanwhile, was amused by a dish named Bubble and Squeak. I was fearing the worst about the squeak part, thinking it was a mouse, but then thought that the Ministry of Health (or whatever) probably would not condone that. So, this is what it turned out to be...
A year later in London (again), we stopped at a restaurant not too far from our hotel (and Poundland). I did not feel like having fish and chips again, but felt like trying another dish named Gammon Steak. Let's think about that second word there again: steak. When I think of the word, I typically think beef. So, I thought to myself, "Hey, I love steak. I wonder what gammon is. I'll give it a shot. Perhaps gammon is a finer choice of meat (as the meal was about 9 or 10 British pounds (or US $14 to US $15)?" So, what did I actually order???
Asking for a bandage almost resulted in calling "999" (or Britain's "911")
While my wife was a little over 4 months pregnant, we happened to be in London. For some reason, she needed a band aid. Unfortunately, we didn't think to pack any of them. I went downstairs to the front desk to see if they had any. On my way down, I thought about how I was going to ask for one as I was of the belief that "band aid" was an Americanized word that might not be understood. So, I thought I would ask for a "bandage" instead. I casually waited in line behind various guests that were checking out. A few minutes later, I was up at the front of the line and asked, "Do you have a small bandage?"
The poor girl behind the desk frantically sprung into action believing somebody was seriously hurt. She pulled out some gauze pads from the first aid kit.
"I'm sorry, but this isn't exactly it. I'm not sure what the British word for it is. My wife has a minor cut and just wants to cover it up. We just need a bandage with an adhesive."
So, she pulled out a roll of first aid tape. "Is this what you are needing?"
"I'm afraid not. It should have self-sticking adhesive at the ends with a pad in the middle."
"Oh, a plaster!"
She pulled one out. I opened the package. "Yes! This is it! I appreciate it so much!"
"No problem at all. Would you mind telling me what that is in American English?"
"Sure. It's a band aid."
"I never heard of that before. I'll make sure to share that with the staff so we can better assist our future American guests."
So, on our way to the subway station, we decided to stop by Britain's version of the Dollar Tree, which was called Poundland! Rather than bug the front desk again for plasters, we decided to get some of our own.
Sadly, though, we discovered one small problem...
 |
| It was one big sheet you had to cut on your own! However, airport security would have a fit if we tried to carry anything sharp enough to cut it! |
Oh, and it gets worse...
 |
| I didn't read the measurements, realizing it was one large strip that had to be cut to size! |
I went back to Poundland to try to find a pair of scissors that would be sharp enough to cut the plaster, but to no avail. All they had were those little safety scissors that we all used to have back in the first grade that would only cut thin sheets of paper and that's it.
So, every time my wife needed a new plaster, it was always preceded by getting in line at the front desk (or queueing) just to ask to borrow a pair of scissors. We didn't mind waiting in line, but felt like we were being a pain to the hotel staff.
Toilet "Humor"
During our stays across Australia, we discovered two things that we hated about hotels there: (1) no complimentary breakfast and (2) no complimentary internet. However, during my wife's hours upon hours of research ahead of time, she discovered a way around #2: McDonald's!
So, every morning in the cities of Melbourne, Cairns (pronounced "Cans"), and Sydney, we would take my wife's netbook and go to the nearest McDonald's for breakfast and uploading photos to Facebook. Toward the end of our day, we would return to McDonald's for dessert and uploading yet more photos to Facebook!
One morning in Cairns, we were eating breakfast at McDonald's (of all places). Cairns is one of Australia's smaller cities (153,000 people, 14th largest city). So, it had more of a relaxed feel than the hustle and bustle of Melbourne and Sydney, the top two cities in Australia that had over 4.1 million in population in the cities proper.
While I was eating my breakfast, minding my own business, I could not believe what I had heard from the staff there!
Manager (Shouting over the equipment just to be heard): "Does anybody know where Claire went?"
One of Claire's Coworkers (Shouting back): "She's in the toilet!"
At this point, I just about died laughing. A split second later, I realized my wife and I comprised maybe 25% of the restaurant's customers at the time. So, I quickly stifled myself and turned my laughter to "covering and coughing." International incident averted!
By this point, I had already been in the country for about a week. So, I knew that Claire's coworker was really saying that she went to the restroom!
Know What You Order
Between Australia and the U.K., we found ourselves having some dishes that had unusual names. If you didn't have much familiarity with the Australian and British versions of the English language, you might as very well be lost when it comes to ordering some food outside the traditional fish and chips.
In Australia, we stopped at the Koala Cafe, a little place we drove to just off the Great Ocean Road somewhere between Melbourne and the Twelve Apostles. There, we ordered prawn burgers. Now, most Americans may not be familiar with what a prawn is, but should be familiar with what it looks like. It's shrimp! We thought that was unusual and figured, "Why not?"
 |
| ...and it wasn't that bad! |
In London, we stopped at a restaurant along the River Thames. Sadly, I cannot remember the name of the place, but I do remember them serving decent traditional fish and chips, which was something I had wanted since arriving in town. My wife, meanwhile, was amused by a dish named Bubble and Squeak. I was fearing the worst about the squeak part, thinking it was a mouse, but then thought that the Ministry of Health (or whatever) probably would not condone that. So, this is what it turned out to be...
 |
| It's the darker stuff next to the eggs. This variant is just pan-fried cabbage, but it can be served in other varieties (according to Wikipedia.) |
A year later in London (again), we stopped at a restaurant not too far from our hotel (and Poundland). I did not feel like having fish and chips again, but felt like trying another dish named Gammon Steak. Let's think about that second word there again: steak. When I think of the word, I typically think beef. So, I thought to myself, "Hey, I love steak. I wonder what gammon is. I'll give it a shot. Perhaps gammon is a finer choice of meat (as the meal was about 9 or 10 British pounds (or US $14 to US $15)?" So, what did I actually order???
 |
| Ham?!?!? I was expecting beef! However, I "manned up," took responsibility for failing to ask questions, and proceeded to eat the greatest ham steak of my life! The chips (aka: fries) weren't bad, either... |
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Laundry
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| It's not what you think it is... |
Cairns, Australia (2009):
This one was unavoidable. We were in Australia for two weeks during their winter and had to carry both fall and summer clothes. So, while we our bags were fully loaded, we were also flipping between temperate and tropical climates. Talk about a pain!
So, one evening, we hit a nearby laundromat. This place was rather interesting and regrettably, we left the camera behind at our hotel room. Anyway, there were no doors in and out of the laundromat like you would see in the U.S. However, I did see roll-down steel doors. I thought it was rather odd for a building like this to be set up this way--especially with the fact that Australia is obviously one of those countries that keeps up with the times.
We loaded our clothes into a washer and walked two shops down to eat Indian food. Yes, of all things, we had Indian food while we were in Australia! Australia, too, apparently is a melting pot of many different cultures. Anyway, the guy running the restaurant (a little "hole in the wall") spoke perfect English. The time we were there while waiting on our laundry after finishing our meal, he talked with us between customers. What we gathered was that he helped some of the locals with their computer problems on the side and that he had lived in all corners of the world (including a stint in Los Angeles). I could have told him at the time that I worked for Dell, but decided to leave work at work. One of the things I don't like to do when on vacation is talk about work. Don't get me wrong. I work hard, but ever since meeting my wife seven years ago, I have done well in keeping life and work separate.
Paris, France (2011):
Five days into being in Europe and we already had to do laundry! The reason for that was because nearly every place in Europe we have been to in the summer (except for Italy) was cold! Cold weather means bulky clothing. So, my wife, my brother-in-law, and I had to go do laundry. We carried a minimum amount of clothes because we had to walk from our hotel and, besides, we were at the halfway mark on our trip through Europe.
So, we dumped our clothes into the washer and my brother-in-law left to wander around. There were three seats, all side-by-side, in the laundromat. My wife, who was about four months pregnant, sat down on one of the end seats, turned 90 degrees, laid her legs across the other two seats, and said, "Little cows!"
"Little cows" is a code for "Dave, massage my calves!" So, I obliged.
One of the locals came in about a minute or two later, who had laundry in one of the dryers. He opened it up, felt no heat, and cursed at the dryer in French. "Mierd!" A friend of his came in and verified the problem. Then, they started feeling the insides of the other vacant dryers for ones that felt hot. Eventually, they found one that was working and transferred the clothes there. Then, the guy left the laundromat for about 20 minutes.
I continued massaging my wife's "little cows."
Time passes.
The same guy returns a little early, seeing his clothes were still tumbling in the dryer. My wife starts to shift back to normal sitting position when he said in an awkward version of English, "That's okay. Sit!"
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Heather and I sitting at the Canal Saint Martin
at night. Because we were at 48 degrees North latitude, the sky did not officially turn
a pitch-black hue until about 10:45 PM.
|
Then, we went back to the hotel, dropped off our clothes, and walked a few blocks to the Canal Saint Martin before calling it a night.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Eight Quick Tips for Disney World
1. Be prepared for rain in the afternoon! It has been a reoccurring theme for our four days at Disney!
2. If you have a larger stroller, use the front row of the parking lot trams. The front row is a double row and significantly wider, allowing you to fit your stroller in the tram seat.
3. Plan in advance what rides you want to ride (or attractions you want to see). Once you know what you want to ride (or see), get the Fast Pass. Each person in your group can only have one Fast Pass at a time, so make it count.
4. If you are travelling with a small child, be sure to get Rider Swap tickets from the ride attendant. Regardless of whether you have a Fast Pass or not for this ride, you will be able to enter the Fast Pass line. The Rider Swap ticket allows for up to three people total to return at any time of the day (they are dated). Be sure to show proof of child (see below) when doing so to eliminate potential hassle.
5. Wireless data availability is inconsistent, subject to carrier. The two carriers represented on our trip were AT&T and Boost Mobile. AT&T had no problems whatsoever. Boost Mobile had problems at Magic Kingdom and Epcot. I did not try my Boost phone at Animal Kingdom, after two consecutive days of frustration. Then, I tried it again at Hollywood Studios, where there were...wait for it...no problems at all!
6. If you have a baby, each park has a baby care center. On the maps, they are marked by a little pacifier. They are really great. Each one has a central lounge flanked by a semi-private changing area and a private nursing room with rocking chairs. The one at Epcot had four rocking chairs to a room with no dividers, though. They also sell diapers and baby food, and offer high chairs to feed kids in the baby care center. In the central lounge, there is at least one sink, one microwave, and a TV for cartoons. I was able to go into the nursing room at Hollywood Studios because it was a private room with space for only one family.
7. Free water! You do not have to buy their overpriced Dasani (or as I call it "da nasty") bottled tap water! You can ask for a cup of water from most of the quick service restaurants, and yes, it's no charge.
8. You can bring your own food into the park! You read that right. Just make sure it all fits into a small soft-sided cooler and they will not give you any grief over it.
2. If you have a larger stroller, use the front row of the parking lot trams. The front row is a double row and significantly wider, allowing you to fit your stroller in the tram seat.
3. Plan in advance what rides you want to ride (or attractions you want to see). Once you know what you want to ride (or see), get the Fast Pass. Each person in your group can only have one Fast Pass at a time, so make it count.
4. If you are travelling with a small child, be sure to get Rider Swap tickets from the ride attendant. Regardless of whether you have a Fast Pass or not for this ride, you will be able to enter the Fast Pass line. The Rider Swap ticket allows for up to three people total to return at any time of the day (they are dated). Be sure to show proof of child (see below) when doing so to eliminate potential hassle.
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| "Proof of Child" |
5. Wireless data availability is inconsistent, subject to carrier. The two carriers represented on our trip were AT&T and Boost Mobile. AT&T had no problems whatsoever. Boost Mobile had problems at Magic Kingdom and Epcot. I did not try my Boost phone at Animal Kingdom, after two consecutive days of frustration. Then, I tried it again at Hollywood Studios, where there were...wait for it...no problems at all!
6. If you have a baby, each park has a baby care center. On the maps, they are marked by a little pacifier. They are really great. Each one has a central lounge flanked by a semi-private changing area and a private nursing room with rocking chairs. The one at Epcot had four rocking chairs to a room with no dividers, though. They also sell diapers and baby food, and offer high chairs to feed kids in the baby care center. In the central lounge, there is at least one sink, one microwave, and a TV for cartoons. I was able to go into the nursing room at Hollywood Studios because it was a private room with space for only one family.
7. Free water! You do not have to buy their overpriced Dasani (or as I call it "da nasty") bottled tap water! You can ask for a cup of water from most of the quick service restaurants, and yes, it's no charge.
8. You can bring your own food into the park! You read that right. Just make sure it all fits into a small soft-sided cooler and they will not give you any grief over it.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
The Bahamas
So, we ran a Facebook poll on what our Facebook friends wanted to read this time around for our Fall Break post. There were three equally good choices: Yucatan, Mexico (2009); the Bahamas (2010); or New England (2011). However, only one can be crowned champion this time around...and it is...the Bahamas!
So, this was a cruise that left out of Jacksonville--only a ten hour drive from where we live. We probably could have taken a Southwest flight from Nashville, but we travel on the cheap whenever possible. In this case, we took this cruise in October, which is right in the middle of hurricane season! So, prices were lower.
With this being our second-ever cruise, we found out what we liked and didn't like about our first one. On our first cruise (Mexico, 2009), we found it creepy that our interior state room had window dressings, but no window to speak of. So, for the price of an interior state room on Deck 4, we got ourselves a dual porthole room with a view on Deck 3 instead...
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| A room with a view...of the JAXPORT parking lot and a pair of nuclear power plants... It gets better, right? |
One of the benefits of getting to the ship early (which we did), was that we got to leisurely partake in some of the all-inclusive amenities (while the stragglers were getting aboard) like...
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| Waterslides! |
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| Sushi! |
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| Pictures with this guy! |
But I digress...as usual...
So, this was a four-day cruise from Carnival that stopped in Freeport and Nassau.
Freeport
There were all kinds of activities to do here, but they were all expensive: scuba diving, jet skis, parasailing, etc. We probably could have gambled in the casino, but there's no fun in losing money. So, we chose to try out some of the local cuisine, take some pictures, and chill at the beach...
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| Conch fritters... |
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| ...and something to wash them down! |
After eating a whole order of four conch fritters, we figured out exactly how many we needed: MORE!!! These things were fresh from the water and so delicious that you didn't need to add anything to them at all!
The Goombay Punch was just an added bonus. Whenever I go somewhere, I typically like to try out their beer and their soda, at the very least. More on their beer later.
Then we walked around a little bit and got flashbacks from London...
 |
| Wait a minute... |
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| Oh, never mind... I get it... |
 |
As a general rule of thumb, two things
have to happen anytime we are on
vacation:
1) Heather pops her head through the
hole of a photo prop.
|
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| 2) Gnome photo shoot! This time, at the beach! |
Nassau
This part of the trip had a lot more to do that was more budget-friendly. Everything was within walking distance of the cruise terminal and was somewhere along Bay Street (or within a block or two), which was nice and easy to remember. So, no getting lost!
While a lot of people decided to take the trip to Atlantis, we didn't because we wanted authenticity, not something that was created to attract more tourists. No disrespect to those that like Atlantis or are employed by Atlantis, though. After all, Atlantis is a very unique casino resort that is rather innovative in its own right. We just feel that if we wanted to go to a casino resort, we could easily do that by flying our to Vegas, instead.
Anyway... We took off for Ardastra Gardens, a zoo and conservation center. There, we saw all kinds of birds, including flamingos! They even did a flamingo parade show where they marched around in formation. The flamingos exercised great discipline, even after the show, where they posed with us for pictures.
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Isn't it somewhat ironic that when we were told
to pose like flamingos, they chose to imitate us? |
After the show, we got to have fun with some of the other birds...
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| Dave: "Excuse me, honey, but there's a bird on your head!" |
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| Heather and I with two cleverly color-matching parrots! |
After Ardastra, we walked around looking for a place to eat. However, that quest was temporarily halted when one of the locals tried to pickpocket me. We were just walking and I felt a light brush against my butt. I turned around suddenly to find a man standing just a little too close to me. I actually startled the guy, which was a little gratifying. Then one of the local shopkeepers (who was outside and witnessed the incident) started scolding the guy. We thought about going into her shop at least, but we were too hungry to stop. We eventually found a place and had lunch, which involved...
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| Conch fritters! This time, we ordered more! |
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| Fried plantains! One of my wife's favorites! |
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| Kalik: Bahamian for Beer! |
After that, we started walking around Nassau towards the Queen's Staircase. We came across a set of stocks and got to try them on. I guess I was a little too unruly a tourist...
After getting released by my captor, Heather and I wound our way to the Queen's Staircase to work off the rest of the alcohol that was in my system.
The Queen's Staircase consists of 65 hand-carved steps to honor Queen Victoria's efforts in the abolition of slavery in the Bahamas. At the top was Fort Fincastle, various street vendors, and a nice high view of Nassau...
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| One thing I will say about the Bahamian prison system is that they don't waste tax dollars on things like beds and cells. I have to respect that. |
After getting released by my captor, Heather and I wound our way to the Queen's Staircase to work off the rest of the alcohol that was in my system.
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| Walking along the path to the Queen's Staircase... |
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| About to start the Queen's Staircase... |
The Queen's Staircase consists of 65 hand-carved steps to honor Queen Victoria's efforts in the abolition of slavery in the Bahamas. At the top was Fort Fincastle, various street vendors, and a nice high view of Nassau...
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| A high view of Nassau... |
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| Atlantis! |
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| ...and a Kalik beer sign. They love their national beer! |
After that, it was time to hit the boat and have sushi, followed by dinner! One of the benefits of going on a cruise is that it's essentially a floating transport, hotel, all you can eat buffet, and resort all rolled up into one. Miraculously, I did not gain weight on this trip. I also managed to earn an A on a presentation and a B on a mid-term exam (both due two days after returning home) in spite of taking this trip!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Dave's Theory of Meat
Okay, folks... It's time to gather around for another story from Australia... However, I'm going to have to tell it to you Pulp Fiction style--or to clarify, the timeline is going to be all over the place. So, please bear with me on this. Trust me, it'll be worth it!
Sydney: Monday, June 22, 2009
This was our last day in Sydney. We decided to take a trip out to the suburbs via the subway and by bus to the Featherdale Wildlife Park that afternoon. Animals were roaming around in abundance, but when we tried to feed them food in a wafer ice cream cone (that we paid an Australian Dollar or two for), they appeared nonchalant, uninterested, and probably fed up with being fed by the visitors before us--except for the emus...and these little bastards were not nice at all!
If you had food of any kind, any emu in sight would just start pecking away aggressively (yes, I deliberately highlighted it in blood red on purpose) with their sharp, sharp beaks! As you can see from my wife's blurred left hand, she jerked back while still holding the cone of food at the time I took the shot. "Here, Dave... Your turn..."
Surely, this experience couldn't be as bad as Khan the Evil Camel, right? That one's a toss-up for me as I was going to get something chewed on by one creature or pecked at by another. (As for my wife, Khan still took first place, though.)
So, I fared about as bad as my wife did. After a couple of minutes walking around to find a kangaroo to eat the thing, I gave up and tossed it in the trash. (I wasn't about to reward the emus for their bad behavior.)
If there was one thing that we learned from our last day in Australia, it was that emus are very evil creatures...
Phillip Island: Saturday, June 13, 2009
This was an animal-filled day involving Kangaroos, Koalas, and Penguins, oh my!
It was our last day in our first of four stops in Australia, the State of Victoria. We decided to take our rental car all the way from our hotel in Melbourne to the Phillip Island Penguin Parade. (Spoiler alert: We did not eat penguin!) Along the way, we stopped at the Maru Koala and Animal Park and Mini Golf (don't ask how the mini golf got in there; I don't know), which was a miracle in itself because the wildfires of early 2009 (their summer) burned it down. In such a short time (about 4-5 months), they were able to rebuild and bring back the animals. (Spoiler alert: We did not eat koalas, either!) What was even more amazing was the experience with the kangaroos!
They were very social creatures that liked interacting with human beings! (Okay, they were really after our food. At least they were nicer about it than the bloodthirsty emus were...)
Needless to say, they were very appreciative of the food and were very photogenic. One of the kangaroos was so appreciative, my wife gained a stalker that kept on following her, begging for food. It was cute the first couple of times, but after a while, it started getting to be annoying. So, we set the little bowl down on the ground and let them have a free for all. Too bad the stalker roo got there first, though...
If there was one thing that we learned that day, it was that we knew we wanted to see more kangaroos at our other destinations because they were very loving and social creatures!
Ayers Rock/Yulara: Thursday,June 18, 2009
So, after sundown, there really wasn't much to do in the area because we're in the middle of the desert with no other signs of civilization for at least several hundred kilometers! In this case, what's there to do? Eat...like a king...that has to grill his own food...and his wife's...at an outrageous price of over US $40 or AU $50. Folks, that's what we call price gouging, which is apparently allowed by the Aboriginal Tribal Council... (Joy.) However, we did get quite a selection of meat! So, there should be some consolation there...
So, we toss the meat on the grill and the experience didn't turn out to be half as bad as we thought it would be. The food was excellent (in some regards)! Ranking it from #'s 4 to 1, here's how I rank how delicious each meat tasted:
#4 - Kangaroo skewer: It was very bland and tough...and I felt bad in the morning with flashbacks from Maru. It probably wasn't very evil in life. Nor was it tasty in death.
#3 - Beef sausage: There was nothing special to write home about, but they weren't bad, either. I believe these were offered as "fillers" to keep the carnivorous customers happy...sort of. The cow's evilness was probably just a notch above kangaroo's. Its' tasty factor was the same.
#2 - Crocodile kabob: This was unusually chewy and an easy eat. It probably was very evil in life, mostly thanks to the late Steve Irwin. This also happened to be very tasty in death.
#1 - Emu sausage: Extremely evil. Extremely delicious. Enough said.
Dave's Theory of Meat:
So, my theory of meat is, and repeat after me:
"The more evil that animal was in life, the more delicious that animal will be in death!"
I also proposed adding the phrase "...and much tastier with a Carlton Black!" However, that might be taking it a bit too far. Carlton Black is awesome regardless if there is any food or not. That was the best dark beer I had in Australia...
Amen...
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| "Oh, no, you didn't!" |
This was our last day in Sydney. We decided to take a trip out to the suburbs via the subway and by bus to the Featherdale Wildlife Park that afternoon. Animals were roaming around in abundance, but when we tried to feed them food in a wafer ice cream cone (that we paid an Australian Dollar or two for), they appeared nonchalant, uninterested, and probably fed up with being fed by the visitors before us--except for the emus...and these little bastards were not nice at all!
If you had food of any kind, any emu in sight would just start pecking away aggressively (yes, I deliberately highlighted it in blood red on purpose) with their sharp, sharp beaks! As you can see from my wife's blurred left hand, she jerked back while still holding the cone of food at the time I took the shot. "Here, Dave... Your turn..."
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| "Now, I don't feel so bad about eating one of your cousins a few nights ago!" |
So, I fared about as bad as my wife did. After a couple of minutes walking around to find a kangaroo to eat the thing, I gave up and tossed it in the trash. (I wasn't about to reward the emus for their bad behavior.)
If there was one thing that we learned from our last day in Australia, it was that emus are very evil creatures...
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| Here, you see the aggressive version of a kangaroo. They are soft, cuddly, and do not possess bloodthirsty, sharp beaks. |
This was an animal-filled day involving Kangaroos, Koalas, and Penguins, oh my!
It was our last day in our first of four stops in Australia, the State of Victoria. We decided to take our rental car all the way from our hotel in Melbourne to the Phillip Island Penguin Parade. (Spoiler alert: We did not eat penguin!) Along the way, we stopped at the Maru Koala and Animal Park and Mini Golf (don't ask how the mini golf got in there; I don't know), which was a miracle in itself because the wildfires of early 2009 (their summer) burned it down. In such a short time (about 4-5 months), they were able to rebuild and bring back the animals. (Spoiler alert: We did not eat koalas, either!) What was even more amazing was the experience with the kangaroos!
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| Heather and one of the non-stalking kangaroos... |
Needless to say, they were very appreciative of the food and were very photogenic. One of the kangaroos was so appreciative, my wife gained a stalker that kept on following her, begging for food. It was cute the first couple of times, but after a while, it started getting to be annoying. So, we set the little bowl down on the ground and let them have a free for all. Too bad the stalker roo got there first, though...
If there was one thing that we learned that day, it was that we knew we wanted to see more kangaroos at our other destinations because they were very loving and social creatures!
Ayers Rock/Yulara: Thursday,June 18, 2009
So, after sundown, there really wasn't much to do in the area because we're in the middle of the desert with no other signs of civilization for at least several hundred kilometers! In this case, what's there to do? Eat...like a king...that has to grill his own food...and his wife's...at an outrageous price of over US $40 or AU $50. Folks, that's what we call price gouging, which is apparently allowed by the Aboriginal Tribal Council... (Joy.) However, we did get quite a selection of meat! So, there should be some consolation there...
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| For AU $26.70, you get a kangaroo skewer, a crocodile kabob, emu sausage, two beef sausages, and an unlimited salad bar! |
So, we toss the meat on the grill and the experience didn't turn out to be half as bad as we thought it would be. The food was excellent (in some regards)! Ranking it from #'s 4 to 1, here's how I rank how delicious each meat tasted:
#4 - Kangaroo skewer: It was very bland and tough...and I felt bad in the morning with flashbacks from Maru. It probably wasn't very evil in life. Nor was it tasty in death.
#3 - Beef sausage: There was nothing special to write home about, but they weren't bad, either. I believe these were offered as "fillers" to keep the carnivorous customers happy...sort of. The cow's evilness was probably just a notch above kangaroo's. Its' tasty factor was the same.
#2 - Crocodile kabob: This was unusually chewy and an easy eat. It probably was very evil in life, mostly thanks to the late Steve Irwin. This also happened to be very tasty in death.
#1 - Emu sausage: Extremely evil. Extremely delicious. Enough said.
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| Introducing the meats: emu sausage (far left), crocodile kabob (white, middle), kangaroo skewer (far right), and beef sausages (underneath crocodile kabob and kangaroo skewer). |
So, my theory of meat is, and repeat after me:
"The more evil that animal was in life, the more delicious that animal will be in death!"
I also proposed adding the phrase "...and much tastier with a Carlton Black!" However, that might be taking it a bit too far. Carlton Black is awesome regardless if there is any food or not. That was the best dark beer I had in Australia...
Amen...
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Khan the Evil Camel
A word of warning, first... If you are drinking or eating something, please finish up before you read any further than this paragraph. This story is so hilarious that you may result in: (1) snorting your drink up through your nose, (2) choking on your own food, or (3) inadvertently converting your food into a projectile that could harm others. At this point, let me legally disclaim that Heather and I are not responsible for any bodily or property damage resulting from reading this post. You are responsible for your own actions. Proceed with eating your food or drinking your drink at your own risk!
Seriously.
So, let's get started. This was another one of our adventures in Australia--this time, set near Ayers Rock in the Australian outback. In her research up until we went through Customs, my wife had her heart set on taking a camel tour. The only thing I could think of was that part from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indy told one of his friends, "No camels!" But I digress...
Around mid-morning, we got to the ranch, which wasn't very far from where we stayed. Then again, everything wasn't very far away because it was a town managed by the Aboriginal tribal government, council, or whatever. Additionally, the Aborigines decided to do business with a select few businesses: Voyages (the only lodging and resort company allowed there), Exxon (the only gas station allowed there), and this camel ranch. Did someone say "monopoly?"
Okay, I should stop going on tangents like this, but it's a bit of a habit of mine. So, I do apologize. Back to the story...
At this point, we were two out of four people for the mid-morning tour. While we were waiting on the others to arrive, we were told all about the camels. Apparently, Australia had once imported camels from the Middle East years ago. Some of them wound up escaping into the wild. So, Australia now has a wild camel population.
Once the other couple arrived, the four of us went back to meet the camels. How I remember the camels' names was quite simple. First of all, there were only three that were available to ride that day. Secondly, one of the camels' names was Walter, the name of my late grandfather. The second camel that was introduced was named Sally. However, the most infamous and stubborn camel of all was... Khan the Evil Camel!
Remember how I mentioned earlier about Australia's wild camel population? Well, Khan had recently been captured from the wild! (Can you see where this story is going?) So, our camel guide sized the four of us up and decided to have the older couple ride on Walter, who was the oldest and strongest of the group. I was given Sally. My wife, being the lightest of the four of us, had the experience of riding Khan!
The camel train was loaded from back to front. So, the other couple got on Walter, who was in the sitting position for loading. Then our camel guide would give Walter the command to stand up. No problem. Walter was very well-behaved.
Then, it was Heather's turn to get on Khan. Heather got on him and then Khan proceeded to stand up on his own before being given the command! Meanwhile, Heather followed her instincts and grabbed onto the bar at the front of her saddle. Khan then proceeded to sit down, stand up, sit down, etc. On my end, I'm thinking, "Dear God, am I going to become a widower at only 33?" It took a couple of minutes, but our camel guide got Khan in line and staying upright...until it was my turn to get on Sally and he proceeded to sit down!
Fast forward past me getting on Sally because she was well-behaved and boring by comparison to Khan, we went for a guided ride for about 45 minutes in a loop in the desert. We didn't really see anything different, but the camel riding experience was...interesting...
Khan started to behave himself again until I felt something weird at my left ankle and my jeans. Apparently, Khan wanted my shoe! Now, common sense told me not to kick him in the face as to not to antagonize him nor go back into his earlier tantrum with my wife, possibly injuring or killing her. At this point, I was tired of this and wanted to be as far away from Khan as possible since he obviously still had issues.
At the end of our camel tour, we were allowed the opportunity to hug our camels. Okay, all of us, except Heather. She was advised to hug Sally or Walter. So, I let her hug mine.
In the end, riding camels was an experience...in learning to be patient. I wouldn't want to be a camel rancher for a living, but I will stick to wrangling my nine-month-old that is crawling, now!
Here are some remaining entertaining pictures that I don't really have stories for... Enjoy!
Seriously.
So, let's get started. This was another one of our adventures in Australia--this time, set near Ayers Rock in the Australian outback. In her research up until we went through Customs, my wife had her heart set on taking a camel tour. The only thing I could think of was that part from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indy told one of his friends, "No camels!" But I digress...
Around mid-morning, we got to the ranch, which wasn't very far from where we stayed. Then again, everything wasn't very far away because it was a town managed by the Aboriginal tribal government, council, or whatever. Additionally, the Aborigines decided to do business with a select few businesses: Voyages (the only lodging and resort company allowed there), Exxon (the only gas station allowed there), and this camel ranch. Did someone say "monopoly?"
Okay, I should stop going on tangents like this, but it's a bit of a habit of mine. So, I do apologize. Back to the story...
At this point, we were two out of four people for the mid-morning tour. While we were waiting on the others to arrive, we were told all about the camels. Apparently, Australia had once imported camels from the Middle East years ago. Some of them wound up escaping into the wild. So, Australia now has a wild camel population.
Once the other couple arrived, the four of us went back to meet the camels. How I remember the camels' names was quite simple. First of all, there were only three that were available to ride that day. Secondly, one of the camels' names was Walter, the name of my late grandfather. The second camel that was introduced was named Sally. However, the most infamous and stubborn camel of all was... Khan the Evil Camel!
Remember how I mentioned earlier about Australia's wild camel population? Well, Khan had recently been captured from the wild! (Can you see where this story is going?) So, our camel guide sized the four of us up and decided to have the older couple ride on Walter, who was the oldest and strongest of the group. I was given Sally. My wife, being the lightest of the four of us, had the experience of riding Khan!
 |
| From Left to Right: Sally, Khan the Evil Camel, and Walter |
The camel train was loaded from back to front. So, the other couple got on Walter, who was in the sitting position for loading. Then our camel guide would give Walter the command to stand up. No problem. Walter was very well-behaved.
 |
| Ayers Rock |
Fast forward past me getting on Sally because she was well-behaved and boring by comparison to Khan, we went for a guided ride for about 45 minutes in a loop in the desert. We didn't really see anything different, but the camel riding experience was...interesting...
 |
| Even Khan managed to successfully photobomb this shot of Sally and I! |
At the end of our camel tour, we were allowed the opportunity to hug our camels. Okay, all of us, except Heather. She was advised to hug Sally or Walter. So, I let her hug mine.
 |
| "Thank you for not killing us, Sally..." |
In the end, riding camels was an experience...in learning to be patient. I wouldn't want to be a camel rancher for a living, but I will stick to wrangling my nine-month-old that is crawling, now!
Here are some remaining entertaining pictures that I don't really have stories for... Enjoy!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Adventures in Mexico: Bus and Motel Edition
After I graduated from college, my mom and I drove from Tennessee all the way to Mexico's Yucatan Pennisula. It took us 5 days of driving to get to Merida. Driving in Mexico was quite an adventure and the source of many fabulous stories. I will share a couple of my favorites in this post.
On the first day in Mexico, a bus passed us on a two lane road and left a beautiful scratch down the driver's side of my card. The bus driver stopped, asked if we had insurance, told us to make a claim, and then got back on the bus without giving us any information. Meanwhile, my mom and I were in shock and just watched the bus drive away. Smart people would had decided to go home; however, as brave adventurers we forged on.
On the second day driving in Mexico, we had another interesting adventure. It was dark and we were looking for a hotel in Veracruz. I see a sign along the highway that says motel. Since it was dark and the motel had a security wall, we pulled in. We tripped an alarm and someone came out to talk us. She asked how long we would be staying. We said until 7 or 8 and then she quoted a a reasonable price. I think it was about $20 dollars. We paid and she directed into open garage which was right beside the room.
We walked in and inspected the room. It seemed rather nice for $20 bucks. There was a big, king sized bed and a tv. The bathroom even had a bidet which I thought was really strange. Wanting to veg out, I climbed on the bed and turned on the tv. Needless to say, I was shocked and embarrassed to see a naked man and woman going at it. Then, everything clicked. I understood why the employee asked how long we were staying. I understood why she never asked for our names. I understood why there was a giant mirror on the wall and a bidet. We were staying at a no tell motel that charged by the hour. Yup, I stayed at a sex motel with my mother.
After we got over the shock, Mom and I had a good laugh about it. The room was nice and a good value since we were only paying for the hours that we needed to sleep. In fact, we started to look for similar motels in other cities later in our trip.
On the first day in Mexico, a bus passed us on a two lane road and left a beautiful scratch down the driver's side of my card. The bus driver stopped, asked if we had insurance, told us to make a claim, and then got back on the bus without giving us any information. Meanwhile, my mom and I were in shock and just watched the bus drive away. Smart people would had decided to go home; however, as brave adventurers we forged on.
On the second day driving in Mexico, we had another interesting adventure. It was dark and we were looking for a hotel in Veracruz. I see a sign along the highway that says motel. Since it was dark and the motel had a security wall, we pulled in. We tripped an alarm and someone came out to talk us. She asked how long we would be staying. We said until 7 or 8 and then she quoted a a reasonable price. I think it was about $20 dollars. We paid and she directed into open garage which was right beside the room.
We walked in and inspected the room. It seemed rather nice for $20 bucks. There was a big, king sized bed and a tv. The bathroom even had a bidet which I thought was really strange. Wanting to veg out, I climbed on the bed and turned on the tv. Needless to say, I was shocked and embarrassed to see a naked man and woman going at it. Then, everything clicked. I understood why the employee asked how long we were staying. I understood why she never asked for our names. I understood why there was a giant mirror on the wall and a bidet. We were staying at a no tell motel that charged by the hour. Yup, I stayed at a sex motel with my mother.
After we got over the shock, Mom and I had a good laugh about it. The room was nice and a good value since we were only paying for the hours that we needed to sleep. In fact, we started to look for similar motels in other cities later in our trip.
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