Asking for a bandage almost resulted in calling "999" (or Britain's "911")
While my wife was a little over 4 months pregnant, we happened to be in London. For some reason, she needed a band aid. Unfortunately, we didn't think to pack any of them. I went downstairs to the front desk to see if they had any. On my way down, I thought about how I was going to ask for one as I was of the belief that "band aid" was an Americanized word that might not be understood. So, I thought I would ask for a "bandage" instead. I casually waited in line behind various guests that were checking out. A few minutes later, I was up at the front of the line and asked, "Do you have a small bandage?"
The poor girl behind the desk frantically sprung into action believing somebody was seriously hurt. She pulled out some gauze pads from the first aid kit.
"I'm sorry, but this isn't exactly it. I'm not sure what the British word for it is. My wife has a minor cut and just wants to cover it up. We just need a bandage with an adhesive."
So, she pulled out a roll of first aid tape. "Is this what you are needing?"
"I'm afraid not. It should have self-sticking adhesive at the ends with a pad in the middle."
"Oh, a plaster!"
She pulled one out. I opened the package. "Yes! This is it! I appreciate it so much!"
"No problem at all. Would you mind telling me what that is in American English?"
"Sure. It's a band aid."
"I never heard of that before. I'll make sure to share that with the staff so we can better assist our future American guests."
So, on our way to the subway station, we decided to stop by Britain's version of the Dollar Tree, which was called Poundland! Rather than bug the front desk again for plasters, we decided to get some of our own.
Sadly, though, we discovered one small problem...
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| It was one big sheet you had to cut on your own! However, airport security would have a fit if we tried to carry anything sharp enough to cut it! |
Oh, and it gets worse...
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| I didn't read the measurements, realizing it was one large strip that had to be cut to size! |
I went back to Poundland to try to find a pair of scissors that would be sharp enough to cut the plaster, but to no avail. All they had were those little safety scissors that we all used to have back in the first grade that would only cut thin sheets of paper and that's it.
So, every time my wife needed a new plaster, it was always preceded by getting in line at the front desk (or queueing) just to ask to borrow a pair of scissors. We didn't mind waiting in line, but felt like we were being a pain to the hotel staff.
Toilet "Humor"
During our stays across Australia, we discovered two things that we hated about hotels there: (1) no complimentary breakfast and (2) no complimentary internet. However, during my wife's hours upon hours of research ahead of time, she discovered a way around #2: McDonald's!
So, every morning in the cities of Melbourne, Cairns (pronounced "Cans"), and Sydney, we would take my wife's netbook and go to the nearest McDonald's for breakfast and uploading photos to Facebook. Toward the end of our day, we would return to McDonald's for dessert and uploading yet more photos to Facebook!
One morning in Cairns, we were eating breakfast at McDonald's (of all places). Cairns is one of Australia's smaller cities (153,000 people, 14th largest city). So, it had more of a relaxed feel than the hustle and bustle of Melbourne and Sydney, the top two cities in Australia that had over 4.1 million in population in the cities proper.
While I was eating my breakfast, minding my own business, I could not believe what I had heard from the staff there!
Manager (Shouting over the equipment just to be heard): "Does anybody know where Claire went?"
One of Claire's Coworkers (Shouting back): "She's in the toilet!"
At this point, I just about died laughing. A split second later, I realized my wife and I comprised maybe 25% of the restaurant's customers at the time. So, I quickly stifled myself and turned my laughter to "covering and coughing." International incident averted!
By this point, I had already been in the country for about a week. So, I knew that Claire's coworker was really saying that she went to the restroom!
Know What You Order
Between Australia and the U.K., we found ourselves having some dishes that had unusual names. If you didn't have much familiarity with the Australian and British versions of the English language, you might as very well be lost when it comes to ordering some food outside the traditional fish and chips.
In Australia, we stopped at the Koala Cafe, a little place we drove to just off the Great Ocean Road somewhere between Melbourne and the Twelve Apostles. There, we ordered prawn burgers. Now, most Americans may not be familiar with what a prawn is, but should be familiar with what it looks like. It's shrimp! We thought that was unusual and figured, "Why not?"
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| ...and it wasn't that bad! |
In London, we stopped at a restaurant along the River Thames. Sadly, I cannot remember the name of the place, but I do remember them serving decent traditional fish and chips, which was something I had wanted since arriving in town. My wife, meanwhile, was amused by a dish named Bubble and Squeak. I was fearing the worst about the squeak part, thinking it was a mouse, but then thought that the Ministry of Health (or whatever) probably would not condone that. So, this is what it turned out to be...
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| It's the darker stuff next to the eggs. This variant is just pan-fried cabbage, but it can be served in other varieties (according to Wikipedia.) |
A year later in London (again), we stopped at a restaurant not too far from our hotel (and Poundland). I did not feel like having fish and chips again, but felt like trying another dish named Gammon Steak. Let's think about that second word there again: steak. When I think of the word, I typically think beef. So, I thought to myself, "Hey, I love steak. I wonder what gammon is. I'll give it a shot. Perhaps gammon is a finer choice of meat (as the meal was about 9 or 10 British pounds (or US $14 to US $15)?" So, what did I actually order???
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| Ham?!?!? I was expecting beef! However, I "manned up," took responsibility for failing to ask questions, and proceeded to eat the greatest ham steak of my life! The chips (aka: fries) weren't bad, either... |
