The Bahamas

So, we ran a Facebook poll on what our Facebook friends wanted to read this time around for our Fall Break post.  There were three equally good choices:  Yucatan, Mexico (2009); the Bahamas (2010); or New England (2011).  However, only one can be crowned champion this time around...and it is...the Bahamas!

So, this was a cruise that left out of Jacksonville--only a ten hour drive from where we live.  We probably could have taken a Southwest flight from Nashville, but we travel on the cheap whenever possible.  In this case, we took this cruise in October, which is right in the middle of hurricane season!  So, prices were lower.

With this being our second-ever cruise, we found out what we liked and didn't like about our first one.  On our first cruise (Mexico, 2009), we found it creepy that our interior state room had window dressings, but no window to speak of.  So, for the price of an interior state room on Deck 4, we got ourselves a dual porthole room with a view on Deck 3 instead...

A room with a view...of the JAXPORT parking lot and
a pair of nuclear power plants...  It gets better, right?

One of the benefits of getting to the ship early (which we did), was that we got to leisurely partake in some of the all-inclusive amenities (while the stragglers were getting aboard) like...

Waterslides!

Sushi!

Pictures with this guy!

But I digress...as usual...

So, this was a four-day cruise from Carnival that stopped in Freeport and Nassau.


Freeport

There were all kinds of activities to do here, but they were all expensive:  scuba diving, jet skis, parasailing, etc.  We probably could have gambled in the casino, but there's no fun in losing money.  So, we chose to try out some of the local cuisine, take some pictures, and chill at the beach...

Conch fritters...

...and something to wash them down!

After eating a whole order of four conch fritters, we figured out exactly how many we needed:  MORE!!!  These things were fresh from the water and so delicious that you didn't need to add anything to them at all!

The Goombay Punch was just an added bonus.  Whenever I go somewhere, I typically like to try out their beer and their soda, at the very least.  More on their beer later.

Then we walked around a little bit and got flashbacks from London...

Wait a minute...

Oh, never mind...  I get it...

Then we got some cheesy photos...

As a general rule of thumb, two things

have to happen anytime we are on

vacation:

1)  Heather pops her head through the

hole of a photo prop.

2)  Gnome photo shoot!  This time, at the beach!

Nassau

This part of the trip had a lot more to do that was more budget-friendly.  Everything was within walking distance of the cruise terminal and was somewhere along Bay Street (or within a block or two), which was nice and easy to remember.  So, no getting lost!

While a lot of people decided to take the trip to Atlantis, we didn't because we wanted authenticity, not something that was created to attract more tourists.  No disrespect to those that like Atlantis or are employed by Atlantis, though.  After all, Atlantis is a very unique casino resort that is rather innovative in its own right.  We just feel that if we wanted to go to a casino resort, we could easily do that by flying our to Vegas, instead.

Anyway...  We took off for Ardastra Gardens, a zoo and conservation center.  There, we saw all kinds of birds, including flamingos!  They even did a flamingo parade show where they marched around in formation.  The flamingos exercised great discipline, even after the show, where they posed with us for pictures.

Isn't it somewhat ironic that when we were told
to pose like flamingos, they chose to imitate us?

After the show, we got to have fun with some of the other birds...

Dave:  "Excuse me, honey, but
there's a bird on your head!"

Heather and I with two cleverly color-matching parrots!

After Ardastra, we walked around looking for a place to eat.  However, that quest was temporarily halted when one of the locals tried to pickpocket me.  We were just walking and I felt a light brush against my butt.  I turned around suddenly to find a man standing just a little too close to me.  I actually startled the guy, which was a little gratifying. Then one of the local shopkeepers (who was outside and witnessed the incident) started scolding the guy.  We thought about going into her shop at least, but we were too hungry to stop.  We eventually found a place and had lunch, which involved...

Conch fritters!  This time, we ordered more!

Fried plantains!  One of my wife's favorites!

Kalik:  Bahamian for Beer!

After that, we started walking around Nassau towards the Queen's Staircase.  We came across a set of stocks and got to try them on.  I guess I was a little too unruly a tourist...

One thing I will say about the Bahamian prison
system is that they don't waste tax dollars on
things like beds and cells.  I have to respect that.

After getting released by my captor, Heather and I wound our way to the Queen's Staircase to work off the rest of the alcohol that was in my system.

Walking along the path to the Queen's Staircase...

About to start the Queen's Staircase...

The Queen's Staircase consists of 65 hand-carved steps to honor Queen Victoria's efforts in the abolition of slavery in the Bahamas.  At the top was Fort Fincastle, various street vendors, and a nice high view of Nassau...

A high view of Nassau...

Atlantis!

...and a Kalik beer sign.  They love their national beer!

After that, it was time to hit the boat and have sushi, followed by dinner!  One of the benefits of going on a cruise is that it's essentially a floating transport, hotel, all you can eat buffet, and resort all rolled up into one.  Miraculously, I did not gain weight on this trip.  I also managed to earn an A on a presentation and a B on a mid-term exam (both due two days after returning home) in spite of taking this trip!

Dave's Theory of Meat

Okay, folks...  It's time to gather around for another story from Australia...  However, I'm going to have to tell it to you Pulp Fiction style--or to clarify, the timeline is going to be all over the place.  So, please bear with me on this.  Trust me, it'll be worth it!

"Oh, no, you didn't!"

Sydney:  Monday, June 22, 2009

This was our last day in Sydney.  We decided to take a trip out to the suburbs via the subway and by bus to the Featherdale Wildlife Park that afternoon.  Animals were roaming around in abundance, but when we tried to feed them food in a wafer ice cream cone (that we paid an Australian Dollar or two for), they appeared nonchalant, uninterested, and probably fed up with being fed by the visitors before us--except for the emus...and these little bastards were not nice at all!

If you had food of any kind, any emu in sight would just start pecking away aggressively (yes, I deliberately highlighted it in blood red on purpose) with their sharp, sharp beaks!  As you can see from my wife's blurred left hand, she jerked back while still holding the cone of food at the time I took the shot.  "Here, Dave...  Your turn..."

"Now, I don't feel so bad about eating
one of your cousins a few nights ago!"

Surely, this experience couldn't be as bad as Khan the Evil Camel, right?  That one's a toss-up for me as I was going to get something chewed on by one creature or pecked at by another.  (As for my wife, Khan still took first place, though.)

So, I fared about as bad as my wife did.  After a couple of minutes walking around to find a kangaroo to eat the thing, I gave up and tossed it in the trash.  (I wasn't about to reward the emus for their bad behavior.)

If there was one thing that we learned from our last day in Australia, it was that emus are very evil creatures...

Here, you see the aggressive version
of a kangaroo.  They are soft, cuddly, and
do not possess bloodthirsty, sharp beaks.

Phillip Island:  Saturday, June 13, 2009

This was an animal-filled day involving Kangaroos, Koalas, and Penguins, oh my!

It was our last day in our first of four stops in Australia, the State of Victoria.  We decided to take our rental car all the way from our hotel in Melbourne to the Phillip Island Penguin Parade.  (Spoiler alert:  We did not eat penguin!)  Along the way, we stopped at the Maru Koala and Animal Park and Mini Golf (don't ask how the mini golf got in there; I don't know), which was a miracle in itself because the wildfires of early 2009 (their summer) burned it down. In such a short time (about 4-5 months), they were able to rebuild and bring back the animals.  (Spoiler alert:  We did not eat koalas, either!)  What was even more amazing was the experience with the kangaroos!

Heather and one of the
non-stalking kangaroos...

They were very social creatures that liked interacting with human beings!  (Okay, they were really after our food.  At least they were nicer about it than the bloodthirsty emus were...)

Needless to say, they were very appreciative of the food and were very photogenic.  One of the kangaroos was so appreciative, my wife gained a stalker that kept on following her, begging for food.  It was cute the first couple of times, but after a while, it started getting to be annoying.  So, we set the little bowl down on the ground and let them have a free for all.  Too bad the stalker roo got there first, though...

If there was one thing that we learned that day, it was that we knew we wanted to see more kangaroos at our other destinations because they were very loving and social creatures!


Ayers Rock/Yulara:  Thursday,June 18, 2009

So, after sundown, there really wasn't much to do in the area because we're in the middle of the desert with no other signs of civilization for at least several hundred kilometers!  In this case, what's there to do?  Eat...like a king...that has to grill his own food...and his wife's...at an outrageous price of over US $40 or AU $50.  Folks, that's what we call price gouging, which is apparently allowed by the Aboriginal Tribal Council...  (Joy.)  However, we did get quite a selection of meat!  So, there should be some consolation there...

For AU $26.70, you get a kangaroo skewer, a
crocodile kabob, emu sausage, two beef
sausages, and an unlimited salad bar!

So, we toss the meat on the grill and the experience didn't turn out to be half as bad as we thought it would be.  The food was excellent (in some regards)!  Ranking it from #'s 4 to 1, here's how I rank how delicious each meat tasted:

#4 - Kangaroo skewer:  It was very bland and tough...and I felt bad in the morning with flashbacks from Maru.  It probably wasn't very evil in life.  Nor was it tasty in death.

#3 - Beef sausage:  There was nothing special to write home about, but they weren't bad, either.  I believe these were offered as "fillers" to keep the carnivorous customers happy...sort of.  The cow's evilness was probably just a notch above kangaroo's.  Its' tasty factor was the same.

#2 - Crocodile kabob:  This was unusually chewy and an easy eat.  It probably was very evil in life, mostly thanks to the late Steve Irwin.  This also happened to be very tasty in death.

#1 - Emu sausage:  Extremely evil.  Extremely delicious.  Enough said.

Introducing the meats: emu sausage (far
left), crocodile kabob (white, middle),
kangaroo skewer (far right), and beef
sausages (underneath crocodile kabob
and kangaroo skewer).

Dave's Theory of Meat:

So, my theory of meat is, and repeat after me:

"The more evil that animal was in life, the more delicious that animal will be in death!"

I also proposed adding the phrase "...and much tastier with a Carlton Black!"  However, that might be taking it a bit too far.  Carlton Black is awesome regardless if there is any food or not.  That was the best dark beer I had in Australia...

Amen...

Khan the Evil Camel

A word of warning, first...  If you are drinking or eating something, please finish up before you read any further than this paragraph.  This story is so hilarious that you may result in:  (1) snorting your drink up through your nose, (2) choking on your own food, or (3) inadvertently converting your food into a projectile that could harm others.  At this point, let me legally disclaim that Heather and I are not responsible for any bodily or property damage resulting from reading this post.  You are responsible for your own actions.  Proceed with eating your food or drinking your drink at your own risk!

Seriously.

So, let's get started.  This was another one of our adventures in Australia--this time, set near Ayers Rock in the Australian outback.  In her research up until we went through Customs, my wife had her heart set on taking a camel tour.  The only thing I could think of was that part from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indy told one of his friends, "No camels!"  But I digress...

Around mid-morning, we got to the ranch, which wasn't very far from where we stayed.  Then again, everything wasn't very far away because it was a town managed by the Aboriginal tribal government, council, or whatever.  Additionally, the Aborigines decided to do business with a select few businesses:  Voyages (the only lodging and resort company allowed there), Exxon (the only gas station allowed there), and this camel ranch.  Did someone say "monopoly?"

Okay, I should stop going on tangents like this, but it's a bit of a habit of mine.  So, I do apologize.  Back to the story...

At this point, we were two out of four people for the mid-morning tour.  While we were waiting on the others to arrive, we were told all about the camels.  Apparently, Australia had once imported camels from the Middle East years ago.  Some of them wound up escaping into the wild.  So, Australia now has a wild camel population.

Once the other couple arrived, the four of us went back to meet the camels.  How I remember the camels' names was quite simple.  First of all, there were only three that were available to ride that day.  Secondly, one of the camels' names was Walter, the name of my late grandfather.  The second camel that was introduced was named Sally.  However, the most infamous and stubborn camel of all was...  Khan the Evil Camel!

Remember how I mentioned earlier about Australia's wild camel population?  Well, Khan had recently been captured from the wild!  (Can you see where this story is going?)  So, our camel guide sized the four of us up and decided to have the older couple ride on Walter, who was the oldest and strongest of the group.  I was given Sally.  My wife, being the lightest of the four of us, had the experience of riding Khan!

From Left to Right:  Sally, Khan the Evil Camel, and Walter

The camel train was loaded from back to front.  So, the other couple got on Walter, who was in the sitting position for loading.  Then our camel guide would give Walter the command to stand up.  No problem.  Walter was very well-behaved.

Ayers Rock

Then, it was Heather's turn to get on Khan.  Heather got on him and then Khan proceeded to stand up on his own before being given the command!  Meanwhile, Heather followed her instincts and grabbed onto the bar at the front of her saddle.  Khan then proceeded to sit down, stand up, sit down, etc.  On my end, I'm thinking, "Dear God, am I going to become a widower at only 33?"  It took a couple of minutes, but our camel guide got Khan in line and staying upright...until it was my turn to get on Sally and he proceeded to sit down!

Fast forward past me getting on Sally because she was well-behaved and boring by comparison to Khan, we went for a guided ride for about 45 minutes in a loop in the desert.  We didn't really see anything different, but the camel riding experience was...interesting...

Even Khan managed to successfully photobomb
this shot of Sally and I!

Khan started to behave himself again until I felt something weird at my left ankle and my jeans.  Apparently, Khan wanted my shoe!  Now, common sense told me not to kick him in the face as to not to antagonize him nor go back into his earlier tantrum with my wife, possibly injuring or killing her.  At this point, I was tired of this and wanted to be as far away from Khan as possible since he obviously still had issues.

At the end of our camel tour, we were allowed the opportunity to hug our camels.  Okay, all of us, except Heather.  She was advised to hug Sally or Walter.  So, I let her hug mine.

"Thank you for not killing us, Sally..."

In the end, riding camels was an experience...in learning to be patient.  I wouldn't want to be a camel rancher for a living, but I will stick to wrangling my nine-month-old that is crawling, now!

Here are some remaining entertaining pictures that I don't really have stories for...  Enjoy!